sometimes i wake up with a very urgent thought on my mind and it’s usually pretty dumb like ‘je suis un pomme' or 'root beer fairytales' but this morning i woke up and sat there for a second and all i could think was
the frenchiest fry
I JUST LAUGHED OUT LOUD IN CLASS
Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.
To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.
I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…
Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.
Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.
One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.
This is the best band post
Everyone else go home
Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this
which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,
that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that
Who does that?
This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.
More like Julius Fuckit
Pyrozod's tags for this were too hilarious not to share
This what some of you guys missed when watching the Anaconda video by Nicki Minaj
How can people see Emma Watson being verbally attacked online and threatened with hacked nudes being released by men because of her speech on gender equality and still think we don’t need feminism. It’s not women who make men out to be some evil creatures, you guys do that well enough on your own.
how to get the d
i think i don’t want it anymore
as a math person i will give the D to any girl that can solve this.
as a girl ‘math person’ i will tell you that you can’t solve this as there are no x or y values as it is only a formula and not a question plus we wouldn’t want the d from you anyway
I’ve never seen someone so efficiently shut down in my entire fucking life
THIS JUST IN: SAM PEPPER, JUSTIN BIEBER, AND NASH GRIER SEEN WITH EACH OTHER AT THE BEACH
SAM PEPPERS VIDEO IS OFFICIALLY OFF YOUTUBE!
AND HIS CHANNEL IS SUSPENDED!
We know why.
Don’t forget Charlie Sheen. He’s been arrested for domestic violence at least six times and shot a woman. With a gun. And he’s still got a career.
Sean Penn tied Madonna to a chair and beat her. Fuck him. Fuck all of them.
Ringo too I’m pretty sure
Phil Spector, although he’s now in jail for killing a lady he beat on Ronnie Spector for years and still got into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Jim Morrison tried to set fire to his girlfriend
I could go on.
The point isn’t that the men on the left don’t deserve everything bad they have coming to them. The point is where the fuck is all the outrage when the men on the right do it. So many of our pop culture heroes are abusers and nobody seems to care.
Like, even if we’re gonna stick to the NFL, Ben Roethlisberger patiently sat out his six game suspension for rape and continued on with his career with little outrage.
If we’re really going to care now about ostracizing perpetrators of domestic violence, we got a lotta slack to pick up.
Adding more to the list:
Gary Oldman - hit ex-wife Donya Fiorentino repeatedly about the face with a telephone receiver in front of their two children.
Sean Connery - thinks an openhanded slap is justified if a woman is a “bitch, or hysterical, or bloody-minded.”
Josh Brolin - was arrested for abusing Diane Lane in 2004.
Glen Campbell - beat Tanya Tucker and on one occasion knocked her teeth out. Glen actually received a tribute at the 2012 Grammy Awards—the same year that Chris Brown received so much vitriol for performing.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers - was arrested in 2005 after he was accused of beating up his teenage girlfriend and throwing a cellphone at her. The 27-year-old actor later made a counter allegation that the 18-year-old girlfriend had assaulted him. The warring couple were both questioned at a London police station before being released on bail. He was also verbally abusive and threatening to a woman who tried to help him up off the floor during one of his drunken airport episodes. “Don’t you know who I am?” Yes dear, you’re the King of fucking England.
Harry Morgan - best known for his role as Col. Sherman Potter in the television series “MASH,” was accused in July 1996 of beating his wife.
Sean Bean - has been arrested for harassing an ex girlfriend and has been reported for domestic assault.
Tommy Lee -pleaded no contest in April 1998 to a felony charge of spousal battery against his wife, former “Baywatch” star Pamela Anderson. Lee received a three-year suspended prison sentence, was required to spend 180 days in jail and ordered to pay a total of $6,200 to a shelter for battered women. Anderson, who filed for divorce shortly after the incident, reportedly had hoped her husband would be spared jail time.
Roman Polanski - raped of a 13-year-old girl before fleeing the country.
Eminem - Wrote the song “Kim” about abusing his wife.
Here’s the lyrics:
- Kim: “Baby you’re so precious/Daddy’s so proud of you/Sit down bitch/If you move again I’ll beat the shit out of you”
- Kim: “There’s a four year old boy lyin’ dead with a slit throat/In your living room, ha-ha/What you think I’m kiddin’ you?/You loved him didn’t you?”
- Kim: “[sound of his wife choking] NOW BLEED! BITCH BLEED!/BLEED! BITCH BLEED! BLEED!”
- Wrote a song, “‘97 Bonnie and Clyde,” about murdering his wife and disposing of his body in the presence of his child
- '97 Bonnie and Clyde: “Oh where’s mama? She’s takin a little nap in the trunk/Oh that smell (whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk”
- '97 Bonnie and Clyde: “And mama said she wants to show how far she can float/And don’t worry about that little boo-boo on her throat/It’s just a little scratch - it don’t hurt, her was eatin/dinner while you were sweepin and spilled ketchup on her shirt”
- '97 Bonnie and Clyde: “Here, you wanna help da-da tie a rope around this rock? (yeah!)/We’ll tie it to her footsie then we’ll roll her off the dock”
Made fun of Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson’s domestic abuse case in “The Real Slim Shady”
Elvis Presley - According to "Elvis Presley. The Man. The Life. The Legend." written by Pamela Keogh. Elvis was immensely abusive towards Priscilla. He was stationed overseas during WWII where they met. He often lied to her parents to get her to spend the night. He would have sex with her, and would give her amphetamines. (The amphetamines were distributed by the Army to help him sleep, and he gave them to everybody.) When the war ended and he went home, he forced her to come with him. She was expected to sit at home while he had affairs. He didn’t even want to marry her, it was simply a publicity stunt. Elvis was immensely controlling. He made Priscilla dress the way he wanted (and would yell at and insult her when she wore something that he didn’t approve of), do her hair the way he wanted, and wear as much make up as he wanted her to.
Mel Gibson - assaulted, struck with his fist and choked, his ex girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva while she was still holding her baby. He then went on towards the pool, screaming and yelling and then told Oksana to get the ‘fuck’ out, and went to get his gun.